What the Hell is Going On?

So next Wednesday I'm auditioning for a student run theatre group at my school, which is putting on a group of short plays called An Adult Evening of Shel Sylverstien. We all know his great children's books and poems, of course. But this particular play is twisted and sick, and low. And cool. And I also learned that Shel did indeed traffic coke from the Caribbean to Florida. Weird.

And I was putting up the Christmas decorations today. If you have the means, I strongly suggest coming by my house and admiring the fabulous candy canes I made out of my house's pillars. It was all me, baby! All me!

QOTD: "Pirates of the Caribbean is awesome! I love the part where, uh, John F. Kennedy.....I mean, Jack Sparrow..." - Brian Patierno

So.....They have officially banned religious holiday music from the public school system. Nothing like a talanted, classically trained chamber choir in a rousing rendition of Jingle Bells. Not to mention the brass ensemble's beautiful harmonies in Frosty the Snowman. But anyway, everyone in town is angrily trying to lift the ban, so enough about that jazz.

Thanksgiving went well. Just the immediate family. Even Charlie. that weekend everyone got to meet Lynda, even the old Columbia crew. We went bowling, which was awesome. Not Soul Bowling, unfortunately, but good nontheless. And of course the scoreboard names went nuts. I think it was Philippe who made me Semen Connoisseur. So I made him Sex With Midgets.

At school, I performed with the master chorale in the holiday concert. Boring music, but good stuff. It's a community choir, so there's a lot of old people in it. This bass next to me, Bob I think he was, looks just like Brooks the librarian from Shawshank Redemption.

And this weekend was the final week of She Loves Me at the Paper Mill, so I got my staff discount tickets at 20 bucks each. I surprised Lynda with the tickets. It was a great show, and I got major Boyfriend points for that night. Guys, learn well: Take girls to the theater. It makes for a great date.(not to mention plays with love stories).

QOTD: "While all my friends die of old age in an old folks home, I'll be sent of on an iceberg, like an eskimo. I'll be sailing away, in my bermuda shorts and flowered shirt, drink in hand, waving goodbye....In fact, that'll be the perfect ending for my documentary about Ushers." - George, Paper Mill Playhouse Usher

So.....had a good week. Mostly because of Lynda. More commonly known by my friends and family as Aunt Abby in Arsenic and Old Lace. We went out last Thursday to see The Incredibles(review to come), and we've seen each other every day since. She's an angel! Things went very well this week, and I'm taking her to the Parnassian show tomorrow(review also to come). Oh, and her family's crazy about me, which is a big bonus. Her mom's Italian(she liked me immediately), and her dad does wood carving, and one of the last things he made was a replica of Yoda's cane, which I of course thought was the coolest thing ever. Next week, Lynda will be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, performing with the All-Star Colorguard. Pretty hot.

QOTD: "I'm sure Hayden Christiansen saw Attack of the Clones the first time and thought, 'Good God! Is that what I've been doing? Why didn't anybody tell me?!?!!'"

FINISHED!!!!!! Oh man, finishing up a play is always weird. Arsenic and Old Lace went very well....the show was great, doing it was fun, my makeup job made children cry, Natalie came to see it, and I managed to slash open my skin on three performance nights; twice on stage. the fist night I just cut my thumb on a doorway during an entrance, but the second night was odd. In one scene, this dude Drew chucks a suitcase into my chest, and this one time, he aimed too high, and the latch whipped my chin. I bled profusely for the rest of the scene. luckily, my makeup was a bunch of ugly scars, so the blood blended right in.....Then at the last cast party, I tried opening someone's beer, and cut three fingers. The End.

QOTD: "To me, big boobs are like fries that come with a burger. You didn't want them in the first place, but just because they're there, you put them in your mouth. But even if they're not there, you still wanna taste the burger." - Brian Patierno

Y'know, the only thing worse than something going horribly wrong, is something going horribly wrong....and knowing that it's all your own fault. I apparently was supposed to usher at Paper Mill last weekend, and forgetting this, I didn't show up. On top of that, my boss made the point of saying the week before that she desperately needed ushers that weekend. On top of that, I left her a message all nice-like that I was looking to work this coming week. She called back, got all pissy about my screw up, I groveled, and, her being an unbelieveably nice person, gave me the line, "I'll give you one more chance!" Ho boy. So now I gotta work the friday and Saturday before Halloween. I may have tech rehearsals for my show then, but fuck it. It's just a play, and it's too late to replace my role. Paper Mill could chew me and spit me out in a heartbeat. Luckily, there are no shows on the weekend of Philippe's show, so I'm all good for that! I'm lucky my boss is so nice. anyone else would've let me go, especially since ushers are so dispensable.

QOTD: "Brendan Connerty did not make up the word 'riddunkulous'! That's like when Pat Dalby said he made up 'Guess what, chicken butt'!!"

so.....we got the other movie, American Gangster. Denzel Washington is gonna be at my house in January. Oh yeah!

in other news, it turns out that Drew, the lead in my play, is an extra in guess what movie?...Strangers With Candy. That's right. he plays one of the kids who smashes up Steven Colbert's car with baseball bats. Then I told him that it was filmed at my house, and we were both very impressed with each other....then we both sang Stars from Les Mis in unison. Then we talked about Forum. He had played Hero, so we broke out into Free. Then the director said she wants to do a musical, so we said Forum, of course. After all, the perfect Pseudolus and Hero were right there. Then we said Chicago. Which is perfect, since Drew and I are the only major male competiton, and there are only 2 male roles. and he wants to play Amos, and I wanna play Billy Flynn. And the rest of the people who wanna do a musical are female dancers. We can't lose!!

QOTD: "Remember. You're an arrogant dumbass, so you better act like it!!"

Warning: For those of you who do not enjoy reading unbridled nerd rants, please do not read further.

I got the Star Wars Trilogy DVD set yesterday. And guess what? George Lucas changed those frickin' movies AGAIN! He can't leave them alone! It's quite amazing how he's the only movie maker that can't seem to finish a movie before releasing it. So, along with the insane computer effects he put in the Special Edition back in 1997, here's a list of the new changes I have discovered so far:

• In the added Jabba the Hutt scene in A New Hope, they replaced the small, svelt,
  snakelike CG Jabba with the more characteristically fat and sloppy CG
  Jabba seen in Ep. I to match his recognizable physique from Jedi(no more imagining the untold story of Jabba's failed diet).

• When Vader speaks to the hologram of the Emperor Palpatine in Empire, they replaced the odd, old lady-looking Emperor with the face of Ian McDiarmid, the actor who plays Palpatine in Jedi and the prequels(smart of Lucas to think about continuity after re-casting the part).

• The voice of Boba Fett has been re-dubbed by Temuera Morrison, the actor who plays Jango Fett in Ep. II(this of course being logical since we now know Boba Fett to be a clone of Jango).

• Obi-Wan's strange roar given to scare off the sand people in New Hope was changed. (it still sounds dumb.)

• During the ewok celebration at the end of Jedi, as it shows the Special Edition scenes of different planets and cities from the trilogy celebrating, they added in the capital city of Naboo from Ep. I (listen for the gungan yelling "wesa free!" Brilliant movie making right there).

• At the finale of Jedi, Luke sees the ghosts of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the adult Anakin Skywalker as seen in the Darth Vader helmet. Old Anakin was replaced with Hayden Christianson, the teenage Anakin from Ep II and III. (The logic being that this is what Anakin looked like before turning into Vader, but it's still an annoying addition, to say the least.)
  That's all the changes that I've found so far. Other than that, some scenes were sped up, some new lines were added, and the picture and sound quality were vastly improved. The picture and sound were the only things I really liked about these DVDs, but hey. It's Star Wars. I enjoy them for what they are. And besides.....they didn't change Leia's Slave girl bikini, so I'll still watch 'em.
  QOTD: "Darth Vader's voice still sounds cool in Spanish, but Yoda sounds like an old woman."